Forever, I must bear it. The insecurity takes over my life and intervenes many of my daily activities and duties. As specified before, this vulnerability intimidates me and makes me feel worthless. But I can’t just do nothing. I am obliged to seek for the source. I need to know what I can change to eradicate this insecurity. Therefore, I used art.
Art is a subject that I revere. With the opportunity to spur out many ideas and to implement them into paper, I consider it as a great luxury. This gift of recreating reality, thoughts, and feelings onto any surface or medium insinuates gratitude. Knowing that it is a gift provided by Him makes me appreciate it greatly, and therefore I must attempt to express this gift constantly. With the “Kin Bowen” brushes set out on my desk and the “Nataraj” pencils shuffled within my cupboard, I prepare the ingredients for my piece.
Slowly, I place the HB Nataraj pencil on the surface of the paper. My hands, holding on to the equipment, sways swiftly around the paper following the elegant movement of the dance. Like a Lead is to its Follow, the “footwork” that the hand makes guides the pencil towards its designated position. Then as the two partners are in sync their footwork creates an elegant and beautiful trail. The outline is formed.
Detail is obligatory: focused deeply on the different crevices of the paper, I analyze every line that I made. Then as I am assured that the outline is appropriate, I move to the next phase.
The thinnest is the most efficient. Selecting the brushes that laid in front of me, I notice the importance of these tools. For about 10 minutes I spend my time rigorously observing the texture, comfortability and the shape of the brushes. And finally, my preferred brush is picked. With the pallets set out and the paint prepared, the painting commenced.
Colors: with the blend of the different spectrums of white light, a romance of feelings, reality, and emotions is executed. The provision of a wide array of shades allows the artist to experiment and to find a combination that appeals to them. Due to this ability, I indulge in some experimenting of my own. Enthusiastically, from the basic and dull red, blue, and yellow, I produce a blend of Magenta, Cyan, and Lemonchiffon: outrageous yet sophisticated colors that are appropriate for my piece. Then, with the use of these delicate tools, I use my brush to scoop a suitable amount of color. With deliberate force, I quickly move the brush upon the surface of the paper and within the outline of my drawing. It is a difficult task as, with the use of water color, one mistake could wreck the whole piece.
My focus is on skin tone. Replicating the skin is really difficult. Noticing that the skin has many pigments and tones upon it can almost be impossible. However, with a little practice, observing the different shades and colors that it possesses would be nothing.
Duarte Vitoria’s intricate view of the skin is portrayed through her art. Her exaggeration of the skin emphasizes the feelings of which the person(s) in her pieces are feeling. With using more than one color to present the skin her aim to express the feelings of the characters is fulfilled. She was my influence.
My approach was different from Vitoria’s. Although I was inspired by her experimentation with a variety of colors, I used it instead to analyze my face. From my two profiles to the center, I recorded the different structures that it possessed. With the use of God’s gift, I try to see my imperfections; to see the parts that everybody feels obliged to look at. It’s ironic, isn’t it? Trying to find the faults of God’s creation with the beautiful gifts that He granted to me. But, with the resentment I feel, I must. However, to no avail, I see nothing. It’s just me.